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Fic: Show Me (Buffy, 340 words, PG-13)

OMG, I actually wrote a fic!! Ok, it's 300-odd words of total crack, and it wasn't even my idea in the first place. But, technically speaking, I wrote a fic! It's been a while. Enjoy.

Show Me
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Disclaimer: Just playing, no profit. I don't own these characters, this universe, or anything else of value.
Characters: Faith, Dawn, Other
Summary: Short (340-ish words), crack-y, S7 ficlet inspired by ladyofthelog 's Rocket Launchers and Time Travel and All That Shit, stormwreath 's Buffy's Little Secret and angearia 's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I hope it's entertaining even if you already know how it ends.

Dawn rushed into the bedroom. "Buffy, have you seen my--" She froze, eyes wide, staring at the tableau before her.

Faith crouched on the floor of Buffy's room, face flushed, mouth slightly open. Her hands were busy between her knees, adjusting the settings on a huge, industrial-quality--

"Faith, is that what I think it is?"

Faith started, seeming to notice Dawn for the first time. Then she grinned. "Sure is, little sis." She ran her fingers over the item's length. "What do you think?"

Dawn blinked. "Where did you get it? And why are you playing with it here?"

"Can't have the baby slayers clamoring for a turn," Faith shrugged. "Not enough to go around."

"But why--?"

"It's Buffy's."


"Oh, yeah. She told me Xander got it for her. Right after Angel went over to the dark side? She needed something..."

Mouth falling open, Dawn brought her hand to her forehead. "I think I need to sit down," she whispered, dropping onto the bed. "Xander?"

Faith flashed that grin again. "Boy's worth a little more than meets the eye. He showed her how to use it, too." She tossed her hair back over her shoulder. "Course, I'm such a hands on girl, I just kinda figured it out on my own."

"You would," Dawn muttered. Then a calculating look came over her face. "Buffy doesn't know you're... borrowing... it, does she?"

"What's it to you?"

"I promise not to tell her... if you let me have a turn."

Faith laughed. "You're all right, kid." She lifted one hand, resting it on Dawn's knee. "You want me to leave you alone with it? Or you wanna do this together?"

Dawn gulped, staring at Faith's -- actually, Buffy's -- toy with a combination of excitement and fear. "You're some kind of expert by now, right?"

Eyes shining with excitement, Faith very slowly licked her lips. "You want the full tutorial? Stay home from school and..?"

Dawn looked her in the eye. "Yes. Show me exactly how to use a rocket launcher."


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 24th, 2009 08:14 pm (UTC)
Oh yes! Can't have enough rocket launcher double entendres! Very nice addition to the series!
Nov. 24th, 2009 09:13 pm (UTC)
Nov. 24th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)
Heee! November, 24 should be proclaimed The Rocket Launcher Day! :)
Nov. 24th, 2009 09:13 pm (UTC)
Does that mean we get to do this every year? :)
Nov. 24th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC)
Why not? We should organize a Buffy's rocket launcher ficathon. After all, the launcher survived for 6 seasons as her companion. Who else could boast such an achievement?
Nov. 24th, 2009 09:39 pm (UTC)
"Who else could boast such an achievement?"

Very few. Very few indeed.
Nov. 24th, 2009 08:58 pm (UTC)

This is fun. :-) (My only worry is that we're spoiling porn, because now anybody reading a femslash or female!solo smut fic is going to assume that the punchline will involve a rocket launcher...)
Nov. 24th, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting & for writing the first one! (Yours was the first one, right?)

"(My only worry is that we're spoiling porn..."

Erm, is that even possible?

"...because now anybody reading a femslash or female!solo smut fic is going to assume that the punchline will involve a rocket launcher...)"

Hey, now you're just trying to get me to write actual porn!

But now that you mention it, there should be some guy/rocket launcher in the series, too. Anybody?
Nov. 24th, 2009 10:02 pm (UTC)
I think ladyofthelog deserves the credit for starting it, in the original Gabs thread - but then again, her (crack)fic wasn't smutty, it was all about time travel and spiritualism and rocket launchers. :-)

Nov. 24th, 2009 10:58 pm (UTC)
D'oh! I totally read hers, too, but somehow lost track of it since it was originally comment!fic. Thanks for splaining.
Nov. 24th, 2009 09:07 pm (UTC)

Clearly, Xander was right about ladies and big guns. ;-)
Nov. 24th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC)

"Xander was right..."

Well, every once in a while! (I mean, I don't know what you mean. Hellmouth's a dangerous place. You gotta be able to handle the big guns. *nods seriously*)
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 25th, 2009 02:16 am (UTC)
Nov. 25th, 2009 12:03 am (UTC)
I've been leaping from one to another of these and almost crying with laughter. Your introduction of Dawn is just perfect.
Of course
she'd feel the need to use Buffy's private tool with a little tuition from Faith!
Nov. 25th, 2009 02:20 am (UTC)
Thank you!

And of course Faith is more than happy to show off teach what she knows.
Nov. 25th, 2009 12:24 am (UTC)
OMG! I love it!

"I promise not to tell her... if you let me have a turn."

That is so Dawn! This is fabulous. ♥
Nov. 25th, 2009 02:22 am (UTC)
Thank you! Dawn really doesn't get enough credit for how manipulative she can be.
Nov. 25th, 2009 07:56 pm (UTC)
(Here via Deird)

HAHAHAHAHA. *dies of laughing*

Totally still hysterical even though I know how it ends. Cause...come on, it's rocket launcher fic! HILARIOUS.

Dawn and Faith are quite adorable here, too.
Nov. 25th, 2009 11:09 pm (UTC)
Nov. 25th, 2009 08:43 pm (UTC)
AMAZING. Oh, Faith! Dawn! There needs to be more fic with Faith+Dawn banter.

Also, because I have too much time on my hands:

Edited at 2009-11-25 08:43 pm (UTC)
Nov. 25th, 2009 11:09 pm (UTC)
*SQUEE* I love the banner! Will appropriately attach it to the fic just as soon as I can focus enough to figure out how. :)
Nov. 27th, 2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
Now we need a re-write of "Innocence" in which Buffy kills The Judge with a gigantic vibrator. :-)
Nov. 28th, 2009 03:24 am (UTC)

Or, better yet, make a fanvid? Because a vibrator juxtaposed with the expressions of horror both Angel and Drusilla have when they see the rocket launcher would just be WIN. Tho I can't make vids, so maybe it will have to be a fic after all...
Nov. 28th, 2009 04:04 am (UTC)
The Judge: "What does THAT do?"
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )


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